Post-caesarean peer support

I am a 34-year-old ‘career’ mother of two. My daughter was born in 2013 at 44 weeks. I went into labour but after ‘failure to progress’ I was admitted to the local maternity ward and induced. After 9 hours it was suggested that we have a caesarean. I didn't see any other way. The surgical team were amazing, kind and compassionate. Within half an hour, we were introduced to our daughter. As I looked up at my husband, the elation in his eyes as tears streamed down his face, I felt nothing. I was numb, both physically and mentally. I felt no connection with the baby. As I lay in theatre, I just remember feeling tired. I don't remember crying or any particular happy feelings—except that it was now all over.

After being on the ward for a while, I was put in a room on my own, where I spent many hours staring at the baby they had given me, wondering whose it was. She didn't look like me, and I certainly didn't feel like I'd given birth. She could have been anyone's—passed to us from a box under the operating table.