This month's blog focuses on my transition from student to midwife—and I'm not afraid to say that I was apprehensive, to say the least, in starting as a newly qualified midwife.
As a third-year student you have the big protective security blanket of your mentor being there all the time, hiding in the background, picking up things that you may have forgotten along the way, covering your back and basically making sure you don't make mistakes while instilling confidence in both you and the nervous, anxious families.
During that last shift you are on a real high. You've got your Practice Assessment Document signed off, you feel on top of the world—you've finally made it! Three years of stress, countless sleepless nights worrying about exams and completing essays and, when you're on call with your community midwife, more sleepless nights waiting for that phone to ring calling you to that one in a million, golden homebirth. Then, all of a sudden, reality hits. Your PIN number lands on your doorstep and fear sets in. The sheer weight of being a qualified midwife suddenly turns from joyous celebration to reality. The responsibility of assisting a woman to bring a baby into the world, with the uncertainty of not knowing what twist her birth may take, without the support of your mentor being there to hold your hand, hits you hard. You begin to look longingly at first-year students, wishing you could go back to that first year with the luxury of no responsibilities.
Reassuringly, I discovered that my feelings were quite normal, and thankfully many of my newly qualified colleagues felt the same.
With these fears playing on my mind, I was pleased to learn that the Trust where I chose to work offered a 4-week induction period consisting of various courses and time in all areas of the midwifery service on a supernumerary basis. I found those 4 weeks invaluable, as the experience gave me back the confidence that I had lost during those weeks of leaving as a student and now returning as a midwife.
I was also pleased to discover that the Trust has two dedicated preceptee midwives who are there to support and help all newly qualified midwives, assisting them to achieve the required competencies, arranging training courses, and generally being there to hold the newly qualified midwives' hands.
I was placed on the delivery suite for my first rotation, the prospect of which scared the living daylights out of me! But it also filled me with excitement, as well as trepidation. Those initial fears have gone unfounded, and my first few weeks have gone well—which can be quantified with no emergency buzzers needing to be pulled, thankfully.
I have safely delivered four healthy babies into the arms of four rather different families, all being equally grateful and appreciative of the role I played in their new arrivals' first moments of life. These experiences boosted my confidence immensely and, although the births were very different, they were similar in that all the women used minimal analgesia, birthing their babies with full control, and even though they needed support and encouragement at times, they all achieved quick, safe births.
One couple, in particular, will stick in my mind. This was going to be their first baby and the dad was particularly excited to meet their little one. He was very attentive to his partner, massaging her back while she was on the birthing ball, caressing her and encouraging her through all her contractions. The room was in semi-darkness, with the cardiotocography (CTG) machine beating away in the background. I was mindful to leave them to their space and so I stood at the other end of the room writing out my notes, while carefully watching the CTG. The support he gave her was immense and, not surprisingly, she progressed from 4 cm to fully dilated within the space of a few hours. It was a beautiful birth and I felt privileged to be a tiny part of their experience.
Reflecting back on this birth and comparing it to my first few weeks as a qualified midwife, it has become clear to me just how important support is to anyone in a situation where they feel out of control. Even though it is well known that women in labour have a need for companionship, empathy and help (Simkin, 1992; Department of Health, 2004), newly qualified midwives too have this need and so the importance of midwife-to-midwife relationships should not be underestimated (Fenwick et al, 2012).
Those first few weeks were scary but also amazing. Nothing beats the feeling of being the sole carer and midwife for a woman and her partner, safely assisting them to become a little family. However, I honestly think that my experience over the past few weeks would have been different had I not had the support of the midwives, obstetricians, paediatricians and doctors on the unit. Even just a quick ‘Are you OK? Need any help?’ was all that was necessary at times, assisting me and making me feel back in control of the situation. It made me realise that my initial worries were unsubstantiated; I am, in fact, not alone, but supported by the whole team—which is something I will never take for granted.